Thanks for reading. I wrote this article because these phrases are not uncommon and don’t hold negative intent or connotation. Lots of things that people do with the best intentions impact BIPOC people in negative ways.
For example, let’s say you see a car broken down on the highway at night. You can’t see what the person in the car looks like, just that there is someone in the car. It’s late and you don’t feel comfortable stopping, but you call the police to make sure someone checks on the person. If that person is white, they will likely get assistance from the police and head home. But, if that person is Black, they might end up arrested or dead.
If you woke up the next day and saw on the news that someone was shot by police on the highway, of course you would feel awful — you’re human! But all your good intentions wouldn’t change the impact of your actions.
In the same way, casually careless words can have a lasting impact on people from marginalized identity groups. Thanks for sharing your experience.