Dating & Relationships

The Video Every Woman Should See Before 2020

Going Fuckboi-free isn’t easy, but it is worth it.

Brown skinned Black woman kisses light skinned Black man’s bald head
You probably could save him, but do you want to? Photo by Justin Follis on Unsplash

Not all superheroes wear capes.

As the clock winds down on a decade that took us from swine flu to the Presidential pig, most people are looking back, but I chose to look forward. I want to acknowledge the changemakers of the next decade, artists, revolutionaries and risk-takers that inspire us to do better, laugh harder, and love ourselves more fully.

These unapologetic (and underrated) creatives are challenging the status quo and seeking answers to some of the most pressing questions of our age, questions like How do you do scripting? What’s the difference between depression and anxiety? and Why do I keep attracting fuck boys?

Munirah Safiyah Jones, who might just be the next Issa Rae, has an answer for you. If you’ve never heard of Jones or her Youtube Channel Junt Land, you’re not only missing out on comedic gold, you’re missing out on all the relationship advice you wish someone had told you back in 2018.

“As long as you are breathing, you will attract fuck boys.”

— Katchy Williams

Fuckboy Defense 101 is a Bootcamp skit about helping women to identify and resist fuckboys, and it’s something we all need to watch as we head into 2020.

No doubt you’ve already made a resolution (or ten) about loving yourself first, focusing on your emotional needs, not settling, blah-blah-blah. I know I have. Unfortunately, all it takes to reveal my gaslighting masquerading as good intentions is a certain late-night text from a certain someone — let’s call him Fuckboi Slim.

Enter Katchy Williams. Her ‘calling’ is to take weak-willed girls like me, teach them the ancient art of moving on, and put them through their paces until they can pass the ultimate test — resisting a fuckboy face to face.

Woman in hijab looking out of dirty window with man out of focus behind her
Photo by mostafa meraji on Unsplash

While this video is meant to be hilarious (and it is), it’s also sadly accurate. According to a recent study done by the dating app Bumble, twenty-three percent of the 21–37-year-old women they interviewed said they were settling in their relationship. Perhaps that is because of pervasive media messaging that erases the experiences of single and childfree women, despite the fact that in the United States, these women have a purchasing power of $5 to $15 trillion dollars.

Or perhaps it’s because many women still see personal happiness as a ‘trade off’ that must be sacrificed to reach professional goals.

Because… patriarchy.

Whatever the reason we are all so susceptible to fuckboys, Junt Land gives us the opportunity to fine-tune our radar and increase our resistance to the men who don’t deserve us.

As you move forward into a new era of self-love and self-care, remember the four cardinal rules of Katchy William’s Bad Bitch Creed whenever you’re tempted by a late-night text.

Bad Bitch Creed:

1. Do not respond to minimum effort

2. Do not lower your standards

3. Be honest about your expectations

4. Do not make allowances

So take out your cell phone right now and perform an emergency fuckboy exorcism. You owe it to yourself to enter 2020 focused on your future instead of stuck in the past.

And if you do end up relapsing and find yourself right back in Fuckboy Defense 101, be sure to wave — I’m the chick in yellow standing on the back row.

World Changer. Social Thinker. Business Owner. #WEOC

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store